ONE DAY, IN UTTER POVERTY, CAME THIS VISION
Where did that twenty-two years of my life go? I’ve been led to wonder that in these past few months when the question of Russian Domination has intruded so boldly into the headlines. First, with riots in Kiev, and now, with the issue of The Crimea, abandoning its artificial placement with Ukraine, and returning to its more traditional place under Russia. But, the West doesn’t want that! Shades of the old, Soviet days, perhaps?
Ironically, our house isn’t in order either. We are likely to have a very scary summer if some unpopular prognosticators are correct. Money will be at the root of it. Maybe many will be in poverty by the time the leaves fall this year? I recently found this journal note of a Vision I had over twenty years ago. It’s a good image to hold in mind if sudden change should rake our land.
In 1991, I was very poor but was working in a field that I completely loved: planning and leading groups of Westerners to the Soviet Union for homestays to meet the Russian and Ukrainian people. There was no money in it, but I adored everything about the life I led; when I was spending multiple weeks within the USSR, traveling about on trains; having great adventures with small groups of dear and spiritual friends; and making even more deep relationships wherever we went. Money was not the criteria for a happy life!
I had no income then and would leave the country for weeks at a time to lead those Citizen Diplomacy Tours. I knew that I was doing God’s Will and that the friendships forged between the former Soviets and Americans would help to heal our divisions and bring about world peace. That was worth all of the income and security in the world.
In January, 1991, I had this Vision and recorded it in my journal:
“I had a Vision, a Glimpse of Reality, last night… a very powerful image! After I went to bed, I did suffer butterflies reacting to the tangible possibility that I, soon, won’t be able to write a check and that my credit card will shut down when I don’t make the payments. I have no foreseeable income and I’m going away for a month to let it all crash. I said lots of private prayers about teaching me reliance on God alone. Sometime in the night, I had this glimpse:
It was of a Knight mounted on his horse in full regalia, moving smoothly through the forest. The horse was finely-outfitted, as if for a tournament, with silver and heavy brocade trappings. The forest was filled with mist and grey, bare trees. The ground was covered with wet leaves. Knight and horse made no noise and all noise. The sound and power which accompanied this warrior was immense, like a freight train locomotive from a distance of ten inches. And yet, there was hushed silence.
It had an endless dimension, as if he were a whole army of knights, contained in one form. In spite of the masculine image, I knew that he was ME, riding forth. I wasn’t in battle yet, but I was approaching the field, calmly and alone….. and yet, accompanied with, surrounded by, made up of, something enormous. I felt as if the Hosts of Heaven, 10,000 Troops, were in my one body. The movement was even and steady, neither slow nor fast. The horse walked but did not deliberately pick its way over the soft leaves. It proceeded forward with this Impact of Power all around it.
I interpreted this to mean that I was on my way to the challenge but that I had not reached the open field when the time would come to ride forth swiftly. However, I could see that I was approaching it with all deliberation and that I had the strength to do justice to the day.”
I managed to continue doing that Work for three more years, in one form or another; dirt poor the whole time, but happy. I’ve never forgotten that Vision of looking at myself moving on horseback through the forest. Once, I came upon an illustration in a magazine of that very scene; as if to remind me of my Promise.
What is completely forgotten are the money matters of the time. They really weren’t “problems,” though they included a bankruptcy almost ten years later. I don’t remember those little details. But, I do recall the Vision, as if it were yesterday. I understand it much better now, two decades later. I HAVE ridden, flat out but serenely, across those fields. Maybe, I’m approaching more up ahead somewhere? Wouldn’t that be fine?