Living With A Negative Spouse


Oh, my Holy Spirit, Robyn has several questions here. First, she has just lost her little dog, Angel, and she sounds to me like she belongs in that category of pet-owners whom we often meet on this website: Super-Sensitized to her darling animal who has just died. This is not the usual psychology behind pet-ownership; as most of us don’t mourn our animals to that degree. We might think we do, but we haven’t compared ourselves to the segment of sincere souls whom I meet here.

Surely, these loving ones make the best pet-parents in the world; but they are doomed to suffer enormously when one of these, shorter-lived, species dies and rips out their heart in the process. Can You comment on this type of human being who can love their animal far more emotionally and devotedly than the general population, including me, seems capable of?

“Oh Linda Layli, Layli Linda! I know that this is going to be hard to hear, but these Lovers of Animals do suffer terribly at the death of their beloved pet. So, they should really take it carefully and deliberately if they understand what loving them will cost. They seem like the first category of people in the world who should own animals, but they are losing their freedom when they do that. They give away a piece of their loving self, and it gets truly-mangled when it is ripped out at the animal’s death. And, this will happen again and again, if they let it.

They just have an enormous Love Capacity and they need to explore the “continuation of life concept” to prepare them for this inevitable separation. Either that, or adopt only elephants and crocodiles and other long lifespan animals. Perhaps, whales?!

I’m joking now! We can observe these Heroes and Heroines among the best lovers of the world, when they begin to discover these traits within themselves at the death of a pet.”

Robyn is also asking about her own psychic abilities and sometimes the “Spirits” which she may encounter. She asks for advice on how to control and use such experiences. Any advice?

“My God, yes! She is doing very well! Seriously, doing very well, especially, if she can manage to keep her optimistic spirit “while living with the World’s Worst Pessimist!” There is no greater challenge than marriage to one of such an obviously-opposite character. But, you might ask him, Robyn, if he would prefer a wife with such a negative attitude as he has? He, no doubt, relies heavily upon your own bright and happy attitude to get anything done around the house and within the family.

We often observe, Up Here, the fundamental truth that anything, at all…. in the Spirit World or walking on the Earth as a living human being…. can only be a “Creator” if it is Positive. Those with a Negative polarity, can only Destroy, or Tear Down, and they cannot Build-Up anything lasting or permanent. Therefore, they must depend upon one of a positive, or creatorly, nature to do a great deal of work on their behalf.

However, there is a function for a Destroyer, too. Farming requires the destruction of a forest, or virgin earth, to prepare a field for planting. Old parts of cities need demolition for the new skyscrapers to go up. Things sometimes need tearing down so that the next pursuit can be realized.”

Robyn, to the extent that you and your husband recognize your chosen roles, due to your inherent natures, you might be able to make a marriage work. Let him chop the trees, so you can make the lumber. Let him burn off the overgrowth, or the underbrush, so that you can build the house. As long as there’s no anger, or jealousy, or competition, and an equal need for both functions; such a marriage might work.

But, often, the Creatorly One, who can supply the necessary positive energy (think, the ignition in a car) gets stuck with the entire job of building a career. Plus, the dirty job of burning up the fuel, ( a negative act) deep inside of the engine isn’t always recognized or appreciated because that requires a positive, well-running engine and also, someone lively who can replace the gas and oil, now and then (a positive act.)

In the case of a man and wife, who fit this description, as in your marriage; the negative polarity person is better suited for the dirty jobs of maintaining a home, inside and out; than for the more public and active role of supporting the family. A “House Husband” for instance, who can destroy the dirt. If the two of them can make peace with such an arrangement…. make a balance….then, the marriage might work, if they don’t resent each other for the role-reversal.

Such a balance would require an accurate “ATTITUDE” about what is really going on and why. If both understand the dynamics, and have unwittingly gravitated to the roles that they can do best, then they might have a chance. But, the norm in society is the opposite: “The man must be the Creator and the woman gets stuck with the household scut-work.” So, there might be dissatisfaction until they see that each is doing what they’re good at.

Of course, if they’re stuck in the wrong role, entirely, such as: The Negative One is expected to “create” strong and lasting results (an income, a house that won’t collapse); and the Positive One has to muck out the basement or “destroy” everyone else’s trash and rip-up the weeds in the yard. Well, they will both resent their assignments and complain a whole lot!

However, if your husband works in the field of Demolition, then he has the perfect job for his nature; and you might be able to fulfill your creative instincts within the role of homemaker and child-raiser.

Oh my Holy Spirit! What about Feng Shui?

“Linda, what is Feng Shui? I don’t think I know?”

I’ll google it to get the full definition, but it’s an oriental concept about harmonious home decoration, or even on a larger scale: city planning. It’s the placement of pictures, furniture and flowers…or buildings, parks and ponds….. in soothing and pleasing arrangements. It’s about understanding the effect of that on the peace and tranquility of the atmosphere and the heart.

“Okay, that makes a lot of beautiful sense! It goes without saying that spiritual satisfaction is part of physical satisfaction. Not only order, which is a big part of Feng Shui, but the vibrations emitted by the objects chosen for a living space. Everything affects everything else.

Even, and maybe especially, these are inevitable psychic matters and energies connected to people and their possessions. When it’s done with care and substance, life improves to the utmost. But, when things are haphazard and accidental, then an imbalance occurs that must be recognized and corrected in order to have harmony.


About Linda J. Brown

Linda is a solo around the world traveler, having slowly explored the world's two hemispheres. A third trip around the equator has just begun, planned to last at least four years. After living for a year in the spiritual and beautiful town of Santa Fe, New Mexico, she has transferred to the beautiful and spiritual town of San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Feeling honored that the mysterious Hurricane Patricia paid her a call during her first week; she is none-the-less, eternally-grateful that this "worst hurricane in human history" decided to leave the planet alone, after all.
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2 Responses to Living With A Negative Spouse

  1. ROBYN says:

    Hi Linda, I have been holding back alot, not to tell you my true feelings of your response. You very much darted around the questions I truly wanted answers to. You gave very impressive answers to everyone else. It infuriated me. As odd as this sounds, thank you. I do sincerely mean it. At the time of my sweet Angel’s passing I was in the process of trying to get enrolled and accepted into college to become a high school english teacher. When I first started this process I was scared to death to start this new life. I am a 32 year old, married, stay at home mom. I have been this way for 10 years. So starting a new life is very scary. Anyways, when I first started this process my Angel baby was still alive. The whole time I was going through this I was always thinking what would she do without me being home all day. She became my best friend as my babies started school and I was left home alone with an empty nest. I also had another companion who was her same age who paseed just 2 months later. They truly were my best friends. I loved them so much but their passing and a few other odd occurrences has made me feel as if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.
    All of that is honestly besides the point. I really need to hear from my babies. I start school in 3 days and it would mean a lot to me. I really need to hear a real response from them.

    • Linda J. Brown says:

      Hi Robyn,

      Thank you for your comment. I’ve just posted your answer on the website. I’m sure you will not be any happier than before, but it is what it is!


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