EPILEPSY IS NOT ALL THAT BAD….TO THE EPILEPTIC!
IN FACT, YOU GET INSIGHTS FROM THE OTHER SIDE!
I’m mining my journal for stories experienced during my recent 14-month exploration of the planet when I travelled alone throughout the Southern Hemisphere, Europe and Scandinavia. I lost a few days, September 16-18, 2013, in Sweden, when I had the first epileptic seizure of my life, less than a week after turning 76.
Recently, the national news reported the death of a 21-year-old German man interning for Bank of America, who died in his sleep and was thought, at first, to have been so overworked by the bank that he had succumbed to exhaustion. However, an autopsy cleared the bank, proving that he had experienced an epileptic seizure, which his parents confirmed he’d had before. So, with that story fresh on our minds, I shall share my extremely-personal journal entries written on both sides of my coma; as well as some new insights about the Dream World which that rather pleasant experience has created.
4:00 p.m. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2013, STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN – ( A normal day)
It’s cloudy and a little cooler walking across the bridge to Old Town, making me glad of the warm weather I’ve had throughout Scandinavia. It’s really been a skewed impression, everyone admits, for September. Last night, I arranged tomorrow’s flight and hostel for Amsterdam and today, will sort out my week in London. Three weeks from now, I’ll be with my family in Denver! Many heavy and purposeful things went on in my dreams last night but, by now, they’ve erased themselves.
LATE TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2013 – My epileptic seizure in Stockholm’s airport erased Monday and half of Tuesday!
10:00 a.m. – WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 – UPPSALA, SWEDEN
Surprise! I woke up in a Swedish hospital in Uppsala yesterday! I was told that I’d had an epileptic seizure at the airport…. two, actually, and hit my head causing much blood on my hair, still present when I woke today. At least a day-and-a-half are blank. So, I’m getting MRI, EEG, and other tests to puzzle this out. I bit my tongue badly on both sides and it’s a bit painful because I took a big, dime-sized chunk out of the left side. Aside from being woozy and tired, which might be from the medicines, I’m simply sore. But, I’m in good hands.
What I want to capture here is the suddenly, much-more-clear impression that I now have of The Dream Realm. It’s no wonder that we often take things so seriously and think that our dreams are real! Sleep is, literally, the other half of a constantly waking and active life, during which the body we wear here on the earth plane gets its rest; but our spirit is free to thrive. I’ve been aware of these experiences for a long time, even though years go by that I don’t specialize or think about them.
I believe that we are started off with mini-dreams and short incidents of minor importance, which take place deep into our sleep cycle. Thus, memories of them are easy to pass off as merely unreal dreams; which they actually are, according to this waking parallel. The ones I’m having lately have been long, strong, present and immediate. Now, when I wake, I try to piece together how those parts fit in; where “that person (me)” is; and how she relates to here. We’ve all done that millions of times. But, the difference is, that we usually don’t perceive of ourselves as being merely asleep on that Plane we have just left…. and suddenly awake here. We think of this place as the only environment we have. But, our surroundings, Over There, must be just as familiar to that other half of our consciousness, as these bedroom walls are to us. By waking up, we’re merely changing shifts in two very different worlds. Of course, I have no evidential reason to conclude this and the longer I stay awake, the sillier it will sound. But, I’m sure that ignorance of it is what protects the whole.
Eventually, each of our halves get to sleep and each has its waking life; even if that might be odd or irregular. We all have memories of some sort, whether they were delivered to us with stories, films, music, photos, and such; or through simultaneous experience, while we are asleep here, of the drama within that other life’s counter-consciousness….who is our own self in another realm. Granted, I’m being assisted by some sort of pharmaceuticals, but it’s a good insight to know, that some of my memories didn’t really happen here. All of them, at the moment, are quite wispy, anyway.
4:00 p.m. – My sister, Ann, in Lakeland, Florida just called to check on me because the American Embassy called her as they did my daughter, yesterday, resulting in her immediate call. Jen called again today and said that I talked to her then, but didn’t make a whole lot of sense. I have no memory of that. It’s the sort of thing a daughter always worries about with a Mom who insists on wide-ranging, solo travel. Ann doesn’t want to hear about my dream observations between the Upper and Lower Planes and tells me not to alarm my caretakers here. I shall try not to, though I will continue to observe. I am 76. Ann is 74, which is what I thought I was this morning. That’s gotten scrambled. Mostly, I’m inclined to sleep just now.
9:00 a.m., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2013 – Rainy Day
I slept well in this modern, Swedish hotel the hospital sent me to, still in the dear university town of Uppsala. Once the doctors could find no cause for the seizures and I was awake and functioning, there was no reason to keep me, so I taxied over to this nice, mid-range hotel. I’ve had many calls from the hospital seeking more information and a fax of my passport page, so have made a few trips downstairs and now have extended another night as I feel my way along here. I might stay longer in this dear little town as my former flight and hostel reservations melted away when I didn’t show up. I think I need the rest.
My brain is very sleepy and, sometimes, thought is an effort. The material is there but a little out of reach… or slippery. Just slightly or slowly, not massively. So, I want to give it plenty of time to return to normal along with my bitten tongue that got chomped off when I went rigid. They also told me that a nurse at the airport knew to pinch me hard somewhere, maybe to stop the convulsions; but I remember nothing until waking in the hospital the next day. Even then, I took it all in stride, simply gathering information on the new normal.
I can’t drive anymore but have no car anyway and no reason to need one, so it’s moot. This may be a single incident, according to the doctors, who found absolutely no medical explanation for this, so I’m not on medication. I should, of course, get a complete workup when I get settled…somewhere.
Today is grey and drippy and I’m glad that I’m under no pressure to check out of this hotel at noon, so I shall lie down awhile longer. But, I saw a fine, grey wool turtleneck sweater in a shop window around the corner. Since they had to cut my two favourite black sweaters (one with a zebra on it) off my body; I owe myself some. Speaking of that, the pain at my waist caused by that extreme tension seems to be clearing and my brain, which felt like two tightly-clenched fists, is relaxing, too.
I’m glad that this didn’t happen after the plane had taken off for Amsterdam; or worse yet, on my upcoming flight between Paris – Rekjavik – Denver. I hope that the fact that no cause was found means that it won’t hit again and that my strength will have returned.
5:52 a.m. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2013 There’s a sketch of two DNA-looking strands, one within the other.
Our Dreamscapes are a Double Helix with the same characters appearing at random (not necessarily opposite) times throughout, in roles that are on extreme ends of the scale from each other. Which is one reason that we never realize their familiarity. It’s a good thing I’m writing this down quickly, as I feel it slipping away. (It sure is, because now on November 24, 2013,I’m not sure what this means.)
Last night’s dream contained a Persian girl, bouncy and bubbly, who worked as a young production or advertising assistant, setting up photo situations. I recognized her as an important, dynamic, Baha’i woman from my past; a very good friend of mine in the 1960’s, fifty years ago.
It’s also very likely…. in fact, how could it not be?….. that we meet people in our waking lives here, whom we know well in our dreams and they are familiar to us. We form instant friendships without understanding the comfort and familiarity level. My guess is that it’s not a stiff parallel, but a mix and most likely, a random one, since we are so prevented from remembering accurately. If I had waited any longer to write this, it would have been too fuzzy and unsure.
It’s not clear now but the DNA-shaped helix did snap into place as being accurate since that is the picture of our encoding. Why not, also, the description of, not only our lives with parallel realms of existence…..independent from these (of waking life) in place, activity and people…. but with days and nights of somewhat changing places? It’s a tough concept and I can argue against myself now as I emerge more into the rational, waking world.
Nobody really CARES, and it’s my experience too, that our dreams don’t usually contain the few clues that I’ve been grasping lately. So, no one is going to listen. But, I shall continue to ponder. Perhaps, the electrical episode in my brain actually helped?
9:00 a.m. – At the breakfast buffet. My tongue is healing rapidly. My symptoms now are fatigue and sleepiness, though I’ve been sleeping a great deal. Today feels a little more difficult to wake up into, perhaps because I was up at 5ish. And particularly, this dream analysis I’m trying to weave, to construct, feels purposeless now. “So, why?” anyone would say.” Why would I care? There’s nothing to do about it. No way to prove it. Dreams are dreams! What’s to know?”
Oh, my Holy Spirit! I haven’t asked You about any of this. Would You like to comment, either on my epileptic incident or on this dream analysis?
“Yes, I really would but not here in this dining room when we have a nice, quiet bedroom upstairs where we are completely happy with these results, throughout. No one would have ever done an MRI on you and found you to be completely without health problems… of any sort… and no explanation for your seizures. That is practically a clean bill of health on your 76th birthday! A major accomplishment! It also shows that you have not suffered from all of these years of Our involvement with your mind – both Innerly and Outerly. Maybe that is why this happened? It’s very possible that Sweden was chosen for this reason and it will be well-compensated for taking such good care of you.
One thing I would like to say: I don’t want you to be sorry to have to slow down now. I know you are not going to drive any more and since you don’t have a car, that will be easy to obey. But, We are going to let you stay still for the rest of your life. We have had a great run and you have certainly completed your offer to take Us and show Us your planet. Oh no, We did not overload your circuits (when I wondered, briefly, if too many had plugged into me just before the flight) but We are very interested in your recovery and in letting you get some rest when you get into Golden (Colorado) with your little family.
You don’t know how much they love you, Linda! You are their heroine, to still be out here for a year, and then, more than a year; just aging along. And now, you have come through this serious attack on your health and you are carrying on, just as you had originally planned. It’s really difficult to see what you could do that would be any more terrible than to wind up in a major research hospital with brain symptoms and then, come out with nothing worse than a history of epilepsy. It’s all just fine and dandy, and everything will be taken care of for you.
You never do anything half-way, do you? This is quite some conclusion to your around-the-world, romantic, wonderful, sightseeing, scientific, most generous-on-your-part, wandering hither and yon around this whole, occupied planet. Now, that is not an ordinary thing to have happen for Us in most of this galaxy! It hasn’t ever happened to this extent and We are SO GRATEFUL TO YOU! So grateful, so grateful and this episode spells out the strain it must place upon you, though you don’t register it. Anyway, after this, you get to rest!”
What will we DO with ourselves?”
“That’s a good question. We’ll figure it out.”
2:25 p.m. – I’ve been deeply napping and woke knowing that I’d “been in another region,” within a dream, of course. The only thing that returned with me was the word, “Mobulus,” or something like that. No meaning. I realize that none of this information will interest anyone here in our world, as everyone experiences this wispy carryover. Therefore, IT MEANS NOTHING! I’ve extended the room one more night to continue the rest but I really must work out a destination and head for it.
6:15 p.m. – In a Thai restaurant next door. I walked a few blocks to find a pharmacy to buy some new 200 mg. Ibuprophen. I still have the 400 mg. tablets, of which I had taken two at once before the seizure and that might have caused it, but they didn’t think so. I feel loggy and think a painkiller will help; with the tongue, too. I guess it’s a good thing I was in public when the thing hit and I could be tended right away. Ironically though, this hotel room is the first seclusion I’ve had in awhile, after staying in hostel bunk rooms for most of the trip. If another one hits now, no one will know till checkout time.
1:41 a.m. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2013
‘A concept of a hiccup, of an idea of a whole, of a suggestion of a thread….” There were three more clear phrases along the same lines, which I repeated accurately while scrounging around for the notebook and a pen. Then, I watched them wisp as I wrote. I am involved in very deliberate Work, especially Training, during these days in Sweden and I’m not, primarily a reporter for this journal, which has obviously been my prime objective for years. It’s okay, but my emphasis is being shifted to personal use and applications of these new realizations, rather than a simple transmitting of them in an outwards way, in writing. I’m to stay longer in this fine, quiet hotel and in the perfect country of Sweden…. perfect for these inner transformations being performed as I sleep or semi-sleep.
Apparently, the epileptic seizure was bought about by the implantation of a …?…. in my mind. He said the word, but it wasn’t familiar. This insertion had been a risk but came out wonderfully with no harm done to me and none of the normally-expected, age-related conditions present, either. That confirms previous tests done over the years and even this attack wouldn’t have happened without Their giving me this new piece of equipment, which is not particularly designed to add or subtract within my human life; but which is already functioning, grandly On The In. I’m being shown how to use it; how to simply allow it to work within my mind and not override it; skewing the interpretation of my new understandings in a general way. Rather, I’m to stay with them and ride them in a personal understanding way.
I relate to Other Beings in this semi-conscious state and They are, apparently, exchanging information with me. The best way is wordlessly but we can, and do, talk. So very politely, like the Swedish people. I need to stay away from analysis and just let it all flow as it will. This small, quiet, Swedish university town is ideal for the work needed to be done on me. I can afford the $100 per day hotel rate and They can work very well in this setting. My room is even on the top floor, at the outside end of the hall and the town is quiet day and night. Not even traffic.
Two weeks from today, I will make the long flight home from Paris and the monumental RTW effort will conclude. That completion, itself, will have its own reverberations, which are completely separate from what is going on now. But, in retrospect, this fits nicely; both in becoming a soft and gradual landing in a famously-peaceful part of the world; which has embraced me without reimbursement in a crisis; as well as being a silent, unbusy place for the New Dimensions which I have entered.
My brain is still punchy and slow but all there. Though I’m going out for errands and food, the true place for me, these days is in the bed, letting This Work proceed. It has very little to do with this outer dimension, though I’m sure there will be benefits.
1:00 p.m. MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2013
I’ve moved to a hostel just down the street. I love this new room, a small, windowless cubby…dark and quiet; bathroom down the hall, for half the price. Sleep. Eat. Read. Write. for the next 2.5 days. My brain is definitely less bruised-feeling, but it’s also very limp and lazy, so I’m not inspired to write much. How about You, oh my Holy Spirit? Would You like to capture down any thoughts about all this?
“Oh, My Linda Layli, Layli Linda! I do want to analyse, analyse, analyse, but We’ve been told to just let that rest for awhile and let things just impress that new little foundation They put in your mind so that We don’t unduly influence its activities. So, let’s just see what will happen if we go to sleep without any recording. It’s ironic, isn’t it, that those unrecorded moments won’t survive in our record of this whole event, so We should try to take it to the Max, once in awhile, on the reporting side….just because that’s our way of remembering. Okay, let’s sleep so soundly now.
I love you, Linda, and this is coming out so wonderfully! You cannot understand how profoundly We love you and how very important every single moment is during the end of this Voyage that you have made for All of Us. This is the icing on the cake, coming so unexpectedly, and believe Me, it is really wonderful! I wish I could tell you what I know, but it’s too complicated to try to explain. Basically, every thing has been thrown into a vaster perspective than ever thought possible and We just want to let it take its course and show Us where it’s going before We try to influence it in any way, shape or form.
And that includes trying to describe it to you or limit it by setting it down to a certain description. Okay, let’s go nighty-night, My love! See you after while. I love you, and don’t, Linda, don’t you worry about anything against anything, ever again! This is the best evidence you could ever ask for that you are being taken care of!”
I love You, my Honey!
Addendum: I’m about to take Him up on that “Rest” He promised me. Three days from now, I will fly to Montevideo, Uruguay, to begin life as an American Expat retiree, living in a wonderful country for a lot less than it costs in The States. Plus, what an adventure! Gotta learn some Spanish with this overworked brain of mine! Check out my other blog: www.heyboomers.com to see how that’s progressing.