Did I Kill My Darling Dog?

                                DID I KILL MY DARLING DOG?


submitted on 2013/05/28 at 7:37 pm

My dog Simba passed away 2 days ago 5/26/2013. She had Canine Distemper. Unfortunately, there is no cure for canine distemper, she got high fever (≥103.5 ° F, or 39.7° C), reddened eyes, and a watery discharge from the nose, anorexic, Persistent coughing, vomiting, and diarrhea. Late night on 5/24/2013 she was convulsive twice….. But suddently morning on 5/25/2013 she was normal, ate good, greedy eating, and not convulsive…. But I still so worry, so i called doctor came to helping her. He gave her some shoots for support nutritious. Then couple mins he left, she was paralysed whole body. Convulsive every 4 minutes and cant walk. Her eyes turn white color and the tounge stick out mouth and jaw was frozen. She could not hold her pooh and she passed away after nearly 10 hrs of suffer in pain. She still tried to look at us when we called her name and tried to look around for her brother (we had to seperate her brother for not get sick from her)…. Before pass away, she did scream 3 loud sound and lost her last breath

She is the smartest dog and so close to each family member. All of us still cant hold the tears and cant believe that she already gone. Later, i know how to help this sick. When dogs start to eating again and greedy eating, u have to help them eating good and as much as possible and together give them support by antibiotic. It gonna help they to build the immune system to fight back with sick….

But it is too late. I called doctor came to help her but he came to kill her. I just want to save her life, but……… I feel so angry myself and never forgive it. Every morning wake up, i just dont want to wake up at all when i recognize she was not there anymore, she already gone and the person lead her to death is me

I am regret a lot, hurt a lot and just keep crying. I want she back to me….

I want to ask her if she is sad and angry me? I want to apology to her because of my decision killed her. I want to ask her if she is safe now? I want to ask her if she is in heaven or still next to me and my mom? I want to ask her if one day we could be with each other again? Can she reincarnate become my 2nd child which i has planed in 2015? I would love to have her back again….. And i want to tell her that i miss her and love her so much. She meant everything to me

About Linda J. Brown

Linda is a solo around the world traveler, having slowly explored the world's two hemispheres. A third trip around the equator has just begun, planned to last at least four years. After living for a year in the spiritual and beautiful town of Santa Fe, New Mexico, she has transferred to the beautiful and spiritual town of San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Feeling honored that the mysterious Hurricane Patricia paid her a call during her first week; she is none-the-less, eternally-grateful that this "worst hurricane in human history" decided to leave the planet alone, after all.
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